With your cross-sections and nuclei, you eagerly taunt me.
You want me to remember it all? That's absolutely redunkulous,
Even something as simple as the motor homunculus.
But nay! I must recall the pathways for somatosenation,
And lesions of the paramedian pontine ridiculous formation.
Then you add pathology (ugh!), now I'm filled with nostalgia,
For a Block that's far less painful than trigeminal neralgia.
First year was simple, just little axons and gliosis,
But now studying this path gives me hyperhidrosis,
This year it's ptosis, psychosis, and the nucleus pulposus,
Plus all the co-morbidities of tuberous sclerosis:
Okay, you've got seizures, ash spots, and angiomyolipomas,
Shagreen patches, hamartomas, and rhabdomyomas.
But this is just the beginning of the tumors and "-omas",
There's the meningioma, schwannomas, and medulloblastomas!
Wait! I failed to mention the pilocytic astrocytoma!
And its nasty adult partner, the grade IV glioblastoma.
These diseases are no joke, it's all serious business,
That's why when I'm wrong on a question I get hemiballismus,
Not because I've lost the ability to inhibit my thalamus,
Nothing's wrong with the stimulation of my trusty G pallidus,
If I'm wrong I throw a tantrum, develop chorea, and flail,
Because I know I must study even more! Else I'll surely fail.
But if I fail I'll defend my ego with conscious suppression,
And turn back the clock like maturational regression,
Forget med school, I'll drop out! See what else is in store,
Maybe make like an oligodendrocyte and turn into a whore,
Myelinate dozens axons and forget all of my scruples,
Although I'd rather not end up with Argyll-Robertson pupils.
That work would be easier, I could get help from Cialis,
But it's these kind of thoughts that get you tabes dorsalis.
Now it's one year later, and I still can't pay attention in class,
My right hemisphere has failed me (again!), there's no way I will pass.
My right hemisphere has failed me (again!), there's no way I will pass.
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