Constantly taxing my brain, leaving my brow ever furrowed.
I could be surfing in Hawaii, maybe learning the hula,
Instead I'm studying all the nuclei in the caudal medulla.
They say med school is tough, otherwise anyone could do it,
But this pain in my brain won't go away til I'm through it.
The Neuro final's on Monday, so I must cram in a million facts,
And thus I feel it coursing thru my spinothalamic tracts.
This pain (oh the pain!) goes straight to my cingulate gyrus,
(The part that makes you feel crappy when catching a virus).
Because it's not enough to simply feel crummy inside,
Attaching emotion helps you remember to run and go hide
From that bug or that virus, from heights and hard falls,
And that's why you won't find me in the MBRB lecture hall.
Worrying about nuclei, axons, and fascicles makes me abstain,
Because I can't remember if the PCA gives blood to mid-brain.
That's not right, it's something else, perhaps it is PICA?
Or basilar or vertebral, what about anterior spinal or AICA?
Oh, why can't I remember anything that's truly essential.
Clearly my neurons have none of this "long term potential."
I think the dorsal column is why I run like a stallion,
But apparently we know nothing, says our crazy Italian.
"The brain is too complex for us mortals to understand,
Years of research are needed to fully map something so grand."
And so I pray to the gods to help my synapses stay strong!
And let my hippocampus tell me what's right and what's wrong.
Help me learn the function of every sulcus and gyrus,
And all of the pathways that control my pupils and iris.
I beseech you to teach me the types of somatosensation:
Touch, pain, and pressure, as well as proprioception.
Amensia, ataxia, aphasia, none of these can I define,
Unless I study all weekend, (with help from the divine).
If only, If only! I was able to pay attention in class,
But if I fail, I can now blame my right hemisphere for not helping me pass!
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