White Lightning Productions

I feel very much like Brett Farve these days, and I have Patrick Gibson to thank for these feelings. Admittedly, when Pat decided to draw a lightning bolt on my back with a sharpie at Metros, neither of us knew that it was the genesis of my avocation. The instant I dove into that pool and started swimming, White Lightning was born. That scrawny and pasty freshman was no longer just Robby Swendiman. I now had a real nickname. One that suited me better than ghost, whitey, Casper, paper, Elmers (like the glue), snow, tampon, Q-tip, or Swendinerd (even though all these suited me quite well). This was the beginning of the swimmer, the rapper, and today, the production company.

I feel like Brett Farve because for some reason, I have been coaxed out of retirement after each and every announcement of said retirement. In high school I used to write rap parodies like Weird Al. You remember Errrbody in da club gettin' tipsy by J-Kwon? After Junior Nationals my senior year of high school, it became Everybody in the sun getting crispy! since half our girls team decided to fall asleep under the Orlando sun during the middle of the meet. They had to rub aloe all over each other hourly (I helped, of course). There were many remixes, and unfortunately I don't still have them all, but luckily my loyal fans (Morgan Webb) have many of them saved on their hard drives. I will be looking to collect these ancient artifacts sometime in the near future.

But I soon retired. I retired when I left for UNC. There was no time for silly things like rapping, and although I wrote a verse here and there to songs from The Documentary, I stayed out of the game for a while. The first comeback, however, came when I studied the brachial plexus and subsequently met Ronnie Milam. The plexus offered a challenge. Many in the class were freaking out about its complexity (which was quickly outdone by the cranial nerves weeks later, tenfold I tell you), and how great would it be if I could write 40 bars about it? The rest is history. MedSkewFilms and White Lightning Productions were born, with Ro-licious Studios pumping out the jams. Now as soon as 5 Star debuted, I promised myself a long and healthy retirement. It was to be our magnum opus, my Wuthering Heights: one work. Fin!

And yet I sit here, waiting for the latest White Lightning Productions film to render. The "MS1 Orientation Video" has exhausted the last 2 weeks of my summer vacation, and despite 2GB more RAM, it still isn't publishing properly on my one and a half year old Mac desktop (or "ancient machinery" as the Apple Genius Bar techie dubbed it). Tomorrow I will finish work on the 16 minute "Introduction to Medical School Faculty" vid. Dr. Kernick and Dr. Gilliland hired me a couple days ago to put together their wonderful spoof on the 1966 film, Fantastic Voyage, where all the first year course directors are introduced to the class, saving the life patient with a massive blood clot in the brain! - by shrinking themselves in a submarine down to the size of 8 microns, of course. Both of these videos will be completed by Monday, well before the beginning of the new school year, but let's not forget White Lightning will make one more appearance in the "UNC School of Medicine Admissions" video for interviewees. I am still their student liaison.

Surely after this I can retire! Before the announcement could be made, I had to drive over to Ro-licious Studios and have a heart to heart with Mr. Milam. 5 Star was a lot of work. Frankly, I'm not sure how much physiology I actually learned last year, and I know absolutely nothing about the kidney (the bean shaped thingy, I think there are two). Could we do it again? Could we make a comeback and top the tome that was 5 Star. The bottom line is we don't have an idea for next year. We are not enthused about the work it would take, and we realize that we are both perfectionists. We almost didn't show anything on Skit Night because our masterpiece wasn't complete, walking away from months of work. It is doubtful that we have the energy to do it all over again. Not to mention second year is tougher, and the Boards loom. Judging by our demeanor during the conversation, we decided we just didn't seem all that into it.

So now I can say, after these last videos, White Lightning will retire... again. I will retire I will retire I will retire. But I think about it this way. This is just training camp. Ronnie and I both know the plays; we've worked in the system. Once the season rolls around, once we know that Skit Night is right around the corner, it may be hard for us not to put on the helmet and throw around the ole pigskin, if you know what I mean. The only difference is Ronnie and I won our Superbowl last year. But winning is contagious...

I may be old, but I can still play. White Lightning out, perhaps I'll see you next spring ;)