Tools for Tools

It's hard to imagine that a week ago was the first day of class, and now Block I is already over and out. It was a whirlwind tour. Class from 8am to 5pm everyday, and then the pleasure of having Thursday afternoon off to study for our final exam at 1pm Friday. Certainly I am reminded that I do not miss middle or high school. All day in the classroom just isn't going to do it for me anymore. Somehow I had a better attention span as a 14 year old boy than I do today as a medical student, which is rather disheartening. And even though this was supposed to be an "introductory" block, focusing on tools for diagnosis such as radiology and pathology, it turned into a disorganized hodgepodgery of CSI forensic medicine mixed in with the histology of neoplasia (cancer), and a pinch of interventional radiology on top. In the spring I thought histology really looked like the work of a mentally challenged blind fingerpainter; but now I am certain that these cancer slides are masterpieces of the K through 5th special ed Sunday School class at University Presbyterian under the microscope. These professors have been messing with us all along.

Our second year is broken up into 11 blocks, 7 more than we had last year. First year was roughly divided up into quarters: Biochemistry, Anatomy, Physiology, and Microbiology/Immunology. This year we retake in detail all the organ systems we learned in phys, adding disease into the mix. For those of us who came to learn not about the normal human, but the abnormal human, we have arrived. We made it through the first year of hazing. I am hoping that this attitude will help me enjoy the extra hours of work in the upcoming year. Already I can see that most days will be consumed by small group, class, studying, studying, and studying, so I will cherish every moment of free time. For this first final in Tools for Diagnosis, I was more prepared for the exam than I was for any test last year. It was a good feeling having some real knowledge this time.

So this fall is going to be a doosy. Every day we have class from either 8am to noon, or 8am to 2pm. Small group is generally going to be from 8 to 10, followed by lectures. Monday afternoons I have Introduction to Clinical Medicine II from 3:30pm to 6pm, Tuesdays I have Health Policy (my elective) from 1pm to 2:50pm, and Wednesdays/Thursdays we all take Clinical Epidemeology from 2pm to 3:20pm. Add in studying, exercise, and errands, and you got yourself a nice little week there. Luckily the latter two courses disappear in the spring, allowing for more prep time for class and the looming Boards. Oh, and I some point during this debauchery I need to find some time to breathe, go watch Keith and Jon get married, and get away to Troutman a few times before the cold.

I called Block I "Tools for Tools" because we still really don't know anything yet. I feel like first year taught me nothing, except a few fancy words I can throw around at the dinner table to impress my parents (else they think all I do is make YouTube videos day in and day out). We're just tools. We start Hematology and Oncology this week, and it promises to be one of the best and hardest courses we will take in our first two years. Among us there is a real feeling that after this year we will have a wealth of knowledge: earnest, eager, and ready to hit the wards. That's momentarily a satisfying feeling, but then we will feel utterly helpless as attendings in the hospital stump us at every turn. And yet again we are tools! But soon thereafter we will graduate, feeling empowered and accomplished. Dr. Robert A. Swendiman, MD, yes sir! That day will come! And then we will move to new cities and towns to become interns, the ultimate tools. 80+ hours of week of being everyone's bitch (although at least we don't have to wear the short white coat anymore). The attending's bitch, the chief resident's bitch, all the other residents' bitch, the patient's bitch. Then we'll be tools as fellows, and tools as junior attendings. And by the time we have the seniority to no longer be a tool, I will be collecting Social Security and signing up for AARP magazine.

I guess we're just all destined to be tools for the rest of our lives.