Work/Life Balance (Again)

So it's been a while since my last few posts. I have had a lot on my plate. These past few months has reminded me of the fall of my senior year in college, when I was trying to be captain of the swim team, do research in the lab, take an EMT-Basic course at the local community college, and go to class (when possible - which was not often). Swimming was a 30+ hours per week commitment, research was 10, EMT class was another 10, and my courses took up the rest. It ended up poorly; I received a "C" in physical chemistry, the second of my college career. I was completely overcommitted.

This semester has been fairly similar (minus the heavy swimming). I got involved in a number of research projects, and I am very excited about all of them. The first I have described here before: looking at psychological safety in third year medical students in integrated clerkships. Bringing together Harvard and UNC to work on this has been excellent. The second project is at Brigham and Women's Hospital, studying videos of how new interns interact in novel teams. This is an attempt to quantify leadership in small groups, looking at simulated semi-acute care scenarios. The third project is my "thesis" or "policy analysis exercise" (PAE). My PAE is a daily emotional roller-coaster. I am working with the CEO of Mission Health in Asheville, conducting interviews on rural health systems best practices, among other interests. Like any good thesis, there are days when I feel like the world is ending. More on this later...

These initiatives, along with school, trying to learn medicine again, funding applications (which never end), and weekend conferences is the reason why, once again, I am mostly underwater. Just like last time, I end up doing a lot of things "good," but nothing "great" (and some things just poorly). This is completely against my nature. I would rather do a few activities very well, and leave the smaller projects off the table. This semester though, I have prioritized the research components over school, and the latter suffered in the process (sound familiar?). This is why I repeatedly say that I cannot wait to start medical school again, so I can get back into doing a few things (hopefully) well.

So it seems I am still working on the infamous "work/life" balance. I've had the chance to speak to a number of residents and attendings about residency, and I keep hearing a common theme: everyone should do ONE thing outside of work very well. When the 80+ hours are up, you should be able to go home and do that ONE thing. If your ONE thing is cooking, plan on really cooking something special three times a week. If you have kids, go be a great parent when at home. For me, I am planning on working out being that ONE important thing. This summer I am working with my personal trainer (Zach Swartz - yes I know, nothing changes after undergrad) to do six 30-minute workouts a week, alternating lifting and cardio. Zach writes the three strength/power blocks, and I alternate 30 minutes of aerobic exercise each day, hopefully swimming and running. I have to pick something that is doable, but will also keep me in (okay) shape. If I can maintain this schedule for three months during Acting Internships this summer, then hopefully I have a chance of doing it in residency as well.

The problem is, I like being overcommitted rather than undercommitted. It is a curse. I am very unhappy when I am bored.

There are some very exciting things to look forward to though. I have a Medical Student Leadership Conference for Surgery candidates at the University of Michigan coming up, a retreat at Glenn Dubin's house (my fellowship donor), and weddings. More on all this to come!