#MatchEnvy

So I've been off "the Facebook" for a while, and it is definitely a good thing. First of all, I wasted sooo much time on the Facebook (who doesn't?!). Oodles and oodles of time down the drain. But more importantly, I am missing the scared / angsty / happy / elated / tears / defeated / #MinuteByMinute emotional roller-coaster of posts that are all over "the Feed" these days. It's not that I'm not happy for my classmates; I'm just green with envy.

Read: #MatchEnvy.

As I've said before, it has been a very interesting year, with plenty of ups and downs. As the semester draws to a close, I have seen myself pivot towards more academic pursuits rather than focusing on strict public policy. I have greatly enjoyed my leadership research at the simulation team at Brigham and Women's Hospital, as well as my work with both UNC and Harvard's Longitudinal Integrated Clerkships (the Asheville Programs in both places) investigating psychological safety (an idea came out of one of my former blog posts! - "Why Asheville Works"). These have been very exciting projects. But still, nothing compares to my experience last year as a third year medical student. It was the best year of my life, and being away from it for 10 months just renews my commitment to learning to be a great doctor.

If I have learned only one thing this year, it's that I love seeing patients. I cannot see myself being anything other than a physician.

And that's why I'm green with #MatchEnvy. I'm so ready for the process. I wasn't last July, but now I am. I'm ready to write my personal statement, and tell potential programs why I need to be a surgeon. I'm ready for the applications, the lists, the interviews, the dinners with residents, the match, and the (cross my fingers) move to a new location. I'm ready to settle down in one spot and buy a house. I AM READY TO HAVE A REAL JOB! I WANT TO BE A REAL PERSON!

I am very ready to do something I love. School is great, and I know there are people that become lifelong students. But I cannot sit in the classroom anymore. This semester I am fulfilling Harvard's financial management requirement, so I'm taking "Survey of Financial Topics in Nonprofits." It is an hour and fifty minute class on Wednesday afternoons with a wonderful professor, but it's no whipple (I very much want a whipple). I just can't sit anymore; I want to work. LET ME TALK TO PEOPLE AGAIN!

And so I'm antsy. I'm antsy and envious. May 28th, when I'm back in the hospital and on the Family Med inpatient service, cannot come soon enough.

Wooo-sah. Live in the moment.