Our hostel was beautiful (thanks again to Kelly), and we could sit out on the top deck and have a view of the harbor and the Hagia Sophia at the same time. At night the palace was lit up beautifully, its own sunset on the horizon of the night sky. We picked out eating locales that had even better views, and we drank beers while eating hummus and Turkish delight in the face of the warm sea breeze. The three of us made sure to hit all the tourist spots: the Hagia Sophia, the Blue Mosque, a couple of the islands off the coast (we made sure to set foot on the Asian continent to secure bragging rights). We ate fresh fish sandwiches next to one of the bridges over the water. Here, fish are caught and immediately thrown onto a huge grill. Slices are then slapped into a pita with lettuce and lemon juice: a simple recipe that was quite delicious, even for those of us not too keen on fish. For me, heaven. We walked down the boisterous "strip" (city-esque Franklin Street) and made our way through the huge Grand Bazaar, which is unlike any market I've ever been to. It was an interesting mix of market bargaining and haggling, with the security of buying purchases with a credit card. It was here that I bought Shelley's gift: handmade Turkish serving bowls. After haggling with dozens of merchants, I ended up purchasing from the one that refused to bargain (he had the lowest prices for a reason: no haggling and no nonsense, he said... "Everyone always comes back and buys from me anyways!"). Kelly and Anna made away with even more goodies than I, and the whole adventure was extremely satisfying.
It would be negligent of me, however, to leave out the most interesting part of our experience: the artist formally known as Mohammed. I need to preface his description by stating that I could never do this man justice in words. I have never met a more ridiculous human being in my entire life. I'm sure if you went to a Jordanian jail somewhere, you'd find him. It started immediately after moving in to our 10 person dorm. He was skyping with his "woman" late at night when the rest of us decided to go to bed. It was pretty obvious that the group was ready to slumber, and he needed to take his freakshow upstairs. The lights were turned off, but he just kept jabbering away in Egyptian. Originally (not knowing any better), we thought that he must be talking to his girlfriend. But no, he was face skyping with Mom. I kicked "homeboy" out, only to have him return a few hours later around three in the morning. Serge (we love you, RIP) found Mohammed leaning over the bunk, staring at him while he slept. Later we found out that he only sleeps 2-3 hours a night, so he has to pass the time by some other means... this was only the beginning.
Mohammed had a lot of questions, but no social cues. He tried to corner everyone to pester each person about the road to American citizenship (I tried to explain that we weren't experts on the topic, we just happened to be born there - to which he remarked, When I was born I was too young to decide which country I would be born in!). It didn't take long to realize that I could not leave Anna or Kelly alone with "homeboy." His only goal in life was to get to America by any means possible... hopefully by finding a beautiful (or less beautiful) American wife. But he didn't understand why he kept being turned down. He had some very honest questions: Kelly, how much do you weigh in Kilos? Anna, would you marry me? Robert, why can I not ask a woman if she is virgin or not? This seems to me a very important question! Mohammed had talked to the people at the American embassy in Cairo, and explained to them that his physics research was going to change the world. He didn't have a PhD or even a Masters, but his few science classes in college convinced him that he was the next Copernicus.
Kelly, why is it wrong to ask how big a woman's breasts are? How big are yours?
Mohammed got kicked out of the hostel a few days later. Why? We don't know. But staring at women in their sleep isn't a good practice.
The team had to debrief after the continual pestering by Mohammed, so Serge plus three went to a local dessert and bar joint to learn how to smoke hookah. Our waiter laughed as the Spaniard and three Americans puff puff passed with cough interspersed. In a few days we would return to the real world, full of Step 1 freaked med students and a week long transition to becoming a real live 3rd year... bring it on, Asheville.
"Robert, there are three things in the world I love: science, physics, and America. Now do you want me to rap Eminem?? No? Okay, I will!"
- Mohammed
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