Eat when you can, Sleep when you can... And then eat some more!

Food has always been incredibly important to me. When I was in high school, I was 6'5'' and 165 lbs., despite eating my parents out of house and home. My mother had to put raw eggs into milkshakes at night, or have me eat my entire evening meal and then force me to chug an Ensure just to add a few more hundred calories. I saw a nutritionist. I ate 4-6 meals a day. I ate almonds during 7th period. I bought the most expensive unlimited meal plan in college. I've gained weight on every single trip abroad, because I eat each meal like it's my last. Food is important, and that hasn't changed as a third year medical student.

I realize that my obsession with food is constant, and I can be preoccupied during downtime about what my next meal is going to be. Thus, I have derived a system that ensures instant access to calories at every stopping point in my day: morning til night. I make sure to eat a balance breakfast each AM, and I have weekend-made meals at night. However, it's the hours in between that are anxiety provoking. "What, when, where, and how?" are the questions I ask each day at high noon (and most days, hours before). So I want to share my system, and I ask for any quality improvement tips one might have.

I'm going to start with my favorite hiding place, INSIDE-LEFT-COAT-POCKET, and then I'll take you location by location in increasing importance and excitement to my food Mecca: PHYSICIAN'S LOUNGE.

1. White coat pocket: inside left. Food always has to be within arms' reach. I wake up in the morning and have a bowl of Cheerios or a bagel with cream cheese, plus or minus a banana. Basically that means I'm hungry again around 10am, if I'm lucky to make it that long. If I'm moving around a lot that day, I can arrive at lunch unscathed, but I prefer to have access to INSIDE-LEFT-COAT-POCKET goodies at a moment's notice. I always have one Cliff bar ready and available. If this gets eaten, then a Cliff bar is immediately taken from my BACKPACK FRONT ZIPPER, and then INSIDE-LEFT-COAT-POCKET is fully stocked again. I try to amass other snacks as well throughout the shift. Typically a granola bar from SURGEON'S LOUNGE is a popular Cliff companion. One must be appropriately stocked; we can't have any hypoglycemic events in the operating room (OR). If I'm dying for something to chew on, white Tic-Tacs can also be retrieved after a deep left pocket cavity search. Those are only if I'm in dire straights, and for when I have OR mask breath.
2. UNC Swimming Backpack: front zipper. The white coat should always be within an arm's reach, but the back-up is BACKPACK FRONT ZIPPER. As stated earlier, I keep a stash of Cliff bars handy. Second line Tic-Tacs are available, and everything is subject to restocking at night when I return home. BACKPACK FRONT ZIPPER is not a primary food source, but it is usually closer than GRAY TARGET LUNCHBOX.
3. Gray Target Lunchbox. Self-explanatory: this is my lunch. When thinking logistically, however, it is not always easily accessible. I may leave it in the SURGEON'S LOUNGE refrigerator, or in the cooler at the office. So, on trips to the OR, I may have to run back between cases to retrieve GRAY TARGET LUNCHBOX. I keep it dull: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheez-its, applesauce, carrots, sometimes an apple, and of course, a Cliff bar. Most days, fortunately, I don't have to eat my lunch, because there are better options available. If food has been provided at OFFICE KITCHEN, I might snag some Moe's or chicken fingers from Fatz before opening up GRAY TARGET LUNCHBOX, and eating the perishables. These first three options are really just my security blankets, decreasing the anxiety about the possibility of going hungry.
4. Cafeteria. Bleh. I guess it's okay, but there are better options (see below). We have a card for access, but we only use it when on call or at the hospital for hours on end. I'd prefer to just grab a Cliff from INSIDE-LEFT-COAT-POCKET.
5. Office Kitchen. Now we're talking. These lunches are always a surprise, but I've been lucky enough to grab a few good ones over the past couple weeks. In a unlucky twist of fate, the office EMR was down temporarily, so the health records company bought lunch on the days they came in to fix it (there's a silver lining in every cloud). Half-sandwiches, Mexican, Moe's, Fatz, Subway, and a variety of other foodstuffs have made it into OFFICE KITCHEN. Again, I try to snack on these and the perishables from GRAY TARGET LUNCHBOX, but if it's Moe's, then the fruits and veggies have no chance. Those carrots and apple can wait until dinner. If a drug company buys food, I have mitigated the ethical dilemma by grabbing the grub on the run. Who am I to let quesadillas go to waste?
6. Surgeon's Lounge. This place is very special, mostly because it's where I get my cheese and crackers, and hydration. The great thing about SURGEON'S LOUNGE is the bucket-full of rectangular cheese that I don't think anyone eats (I'm serious. I literally think I'm the only one in the hospital that eats these. The amount in the box is almost always the same as it was when I was last there). I grab two saltines from the drawer, slap a piece of cheddar in between, and I have a carefully crafted between-case snack. Hungry betwixt a gallbladder and appendectomy? Cheese and crackers. Surgeons talking about things over your head? Cheese and crackers. They also have cold juice and milk for rehydration. Sandwiches, salads, and other snacks are available in an emergency, and that can be a good option... but all I need is cheese and crackers.
7. Physician's Lounge. The Mecca. It is a special place, with access granted only by invitation. It's basically an upscale doctor's cafeteria, where all the plates are square and pearly white. Linen napkins fall from the sky, and waiters in tuxes unveil wedding finger foods. Breakfast and lunch are served Mondays through Fridays, exactly when our key cards deny access to this delicious cornucopia. I've only eaten at PHYSICIAN'S LOUNGE twice. Once when marinated chicken, succulent green beans, and rice pilaf were served, and today when I had chicken wraps and bananas. If I were an attending physician, this would be the only thing you would need to court me to your hospital. Forget money or the parking space. I want a chef. I want meals cooked up on a whim. Midnight chicken cordon bleu. Give me filet or give me death! I don't take these opportunities for granted. If I'm invited in, I make the most of my surroundings... Oh! And the cookies! So soft and moist; and, I don't even like sweets! Perfect almonds in peanut butter dough. Delectable.

This is how I survive as a third year medical student. Primarily on Cliff bars and cheese and crackers.