Clodagh O’Toole O’Shay O’Leary O’Mulligan

Yeah she’s Irish; deal with it! Her real name is Clodagh Mullen, pictured brilliantly to the left. In Part II of my series entitled “Wait, That Person Got into Medical School??” I am joined by a wonderful lass, who is most assuredly BFF caliber. Affectionately known as “Clo” or “the one who smiles a lot,” she hails from Cleveland, OH. Also on the eight-plus year plan at UNC-Chapel Hill like me, Clodagh is a Tar Heel born and bred, and thus represents everything that is good and right in this world. But don’t let her infectious smile and contagious laughter fool you; she’s as sharp as any knife in the drawer, and brighter than most cookies. As one of those elusive “out of staters,” she’s not just another pretty face. Clearly she’s got a wicked pair that got her past the admissions committee as a non-resident.

The details of the first time Clodagh and I truly bonded are a bit hazy (truly). It suffices to say that it was her birthday, I was throwing my credit cards on the beer pong table and ghost-riding the whip, and dog shit was involved. But just from those vague details, it can be inferred that we became fast friends. I have spent hours and hours pacing back and forth in her room, reciting the cranial nerves (“What nerve are we talking about, we’re talking about the facial nerve, that’s cranial nerve number VII, cranial nerve number VII is the facial nerve, the facial nerve has 5 divisions, 5 divisions, let’s start now with the branchiomotor, the branchiomotor…”). Since then we’ve been to Peru, Bolivia, and back, and I still have not annoyed her enough to defriend me on Facebook. She is the reason people call me “floppy,” and the inspiration behind my New Year’s Resolution to smile more.

After Clodagh graduated from UNC undergrad, receiving a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and minors in both Chemistry and Biology (and of course graduating with Highest Honors), she moved to Philadelphia to work for Teach for America. There she received a Masters in Teaching secondary education with a concentration in science from Chestnut Hill College, and also perfected her “teacher voice” (I have yet to see the wrath and her layeth the smackdown on anyone, but I hope it’s never direct towards me). She taught at Martin Luther King High School, and raised her students’ reading scores by 2.5 grade levels. Not only was she fantastic, but she now has unbelievable street cred.

So I asked Clodagh to send me her resume before writing this blog. Unfortunately, I don’t have the necessary musculature in my digits to type out all of Ms. Mullen’s accomplishments and service. I will list a few here, but know that there is much more to the story:

• English as a Second Language bilingual tutor for special needs students (fluent in Spanish).
• Health Teacher & Math and Science Teaching Assistant, Guatemala City (Clodagh returns every summer to a school in the Guatemala City garbage dump slums to assist the teachers with math and science instruction and teach reproductive health and nutrition classes to mothers and teens).
• Community Skills Instructor, Autism Society of North Carolina (works one on one with students with autism and coaches a soccer team for younger children with autism). Feel unaccomplished yet?
• Research Assistant, Biopsychology lab in Chapel Hill (researched the effects on brain functioning of alcohol exposed PKA knockout mice).
• Two time finalist at the World Championship of Irish Dancing (you know, no big deal – this also explains her penchant for a good dance party).

In fact, Clodagh has only one blemish on her immaculate record. Clodagh Mullen is absolutely obsessed with poop. That’s right, if you’re having gastrointestinal issues, she’s the one with whom you should speak. What color is it? Does it float? Yup, she asked me if it floated once. This obsession has allowed her to dominate small group discussions and anything mildly related to the colon. Frankly I’d be more concerned, but Clodagh does indeed want to be a GI doc.

In all seriousness though, I hope these vignettes offer a quick glimpse into the type of people who are the future of health care. I started with Alan Smeltz, and now with Clodagh, you can truly tell that the caliber of students accepted at UNC Med is phenomenal (minus the author of this blog, tee-hee). As the years go on, and I am able to profile more and more people in my class, your confidence in physicians should increase tremendously if you read between the lines. There are some pretty amazing people here.

Years later I hope to re-read these posts and smile. I have some remarkable friends and future colleagues.