The Patient Interview

A 23 year old white male presents with flu-like symptoms. Headache, fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, and fatigue began about 48 hours ago. No nausea, vomiting, or irregular bowel movements. The patient states that naproxen, water, and rest makes him feel better, and vigorous activity only makes him feel worse. The fever broke 24 hours ago, and the patient rates his pain at about a 5/10. Physical exam is unremarkable, except for a severely red and irritated throat. The patient denies any allergies to medications, and does not take any meds on a regular basis. The patient states that a few of his peers have had "swine flu" and he wanted to get checked out to confirm this diagnosis. Patient denies having the flu in years.

The patient also denies any chronic illnesses or pre-existing conditions, no admissions to the hospital, and has no pertinent surgical history. In his family there is a history of cardiovascular disease. The patient is a graduate student at UNC-Chapel Hill, denies tobacco and illict drug use, and denies significant alcohol consumption as of late. There is no pertinent sexual history relating to this case. The patient lives with his roommate, feels safe in his home, and states he eats 3-meals a day and exercises regularly. The patient has no religious beliefs that would affect care. This concluded the patient interview.

Diagnosis: he's got the swine flu, too.

I wish I could say that this was a made up case, but unfortunately, I have swine flu. Karma turned around and bit me in the ass. I have been mocking and taunting swine flu since it's conception. The world has gone crazy over a this pig flu, thanks to our 24 hour news networks. CNN has the latest H1N1 news, round the clock! Worldwide pandemic, everybody panic! Thank you, Wolf Blitzer. And so I said months ago, "Bring it on swine flu. You can't take me down." And you didn't take me down. I felt like crap for two days, and then got better. You couldn't even give me the runs? No puking? Just a fever that I broke with two pills? I laugh in your face swine flu. And when you come back bigger and badder than ever, ready to challenge the Great Influenza of the early 1900s, I'll be immune to you. You struck too early swine flu. You lose. Muhahahahahahaha.

Hopefully delirium isn't one of the symptoms.